A, B and C were neighbors.
It was summer. They see holes in their roofs. Mr A (A) goes to the 'consultant-1' (C1.)
A: There is a hole in my roof.
C1: So what?
A: It may leak during rains.
C1: It is no rainy season now.. come later, "if" needed.
A: But...
C1 (with a smile): Pay the fee at the table outside my room and go.
It is rainy season. The roof is leaking and A goes to C1.
C1: Ah, Mr. A.. So what brings you here?
A: The hole..
C1: Well..??
A: I told about a hole in my roof three months ago... and it is leaking now..
C1: Oh!! That's bad.. How is the leak?
A: It is gaping.. rain water is dripping into my 'living room' and making the whole floor wet.
C1: Did you try wiping and mopping?
A: Yes, so much that my hands are paining!
C1: Oh.. I understand.. I will give a nice solution to your problem.
C1: Take this injection today. Take these pills 3 times every day for 10 days. Your pains will be gone!
A: But..
C1: Fee?? At that counter.
A: But...
C1: If pains persist, see me next-to-next week. Next week, I will be in Mumbai for a conference.
A: Oh.. What is that conference about?
C1: It is to discuss a paper published by two anthropo-pharmacologists that white rats don't get gray hair.
A: Oh!! Has a new research found that white rats don't get gray hair? Medical Science has advanced so much!!
C1: Yes!! They have studied about a hundred-thousand white rats, 50% of them on no other drugs. 20% of them were pregnant and a minor 3% lost their teeth. All of them were given all the hair oils.
A: Are there any white rats in India?
C1: Yes! They are called Aryan rats.
A: Are they Indian species?
C1: No. They came from Europe during Aryan invasion.
A: Yes, must be.. bloody Indian rats are dirty and black.
It so happened that C1 and A board the same flight to Mumbai. C1 for the conference and A for some urgent 2 day training on "SAP module for truck companies." They exchanged courtesy smiles, but for some reason avoided talking to each other.
Next week.
A: How was the conference?
C1: It went very well! Many doctors from US have attended. Even from some African countries there were some researches. In India, there is no such advanced research happening.. very bad.
A: Yes, very bad..
C1: How are you feeling now?
A: No let up with my shoulder pain.. it has actually intensified.
C1: That's bad.. Why don't you try this tonic also?
A: Sure, sir.. I think it is needed. But, what should I do with the hole?
C1: Oh yes.. should do something about that also..
C1: Take this bucket. Keep it where the water is dripping.
A: If it gets filled?
C1: Simple.. empty it and put it again at the spot.
A: Great.. I think it works.. You solved both the problems!!
Two weeks later.
C1: So, how are things?
A: Well.. the shoulder pain.. it eased a bit.. and also, I have got used to it.
C1: Wonderful!
A: But..
C1: Fee? At the cou..
A: Actually the hole became bigger.. and I bought another bucket to serve the purpose.
C1: Wonderful.
(C1 notes this point.)
C1 (scribbling): I think you can try to use a big tub.. take this sheet and buy it in our shop out there.
A: Thank you!!
C1: 'My pleasure.' And the consultation, an extra XXX (= a fortune) for the 'super special' solution.
Over the next two rainy seasons, the number of buckets and tubs increased in A's house.. meanwhile the hole became bigger and the roof started falling apart. A sold the house and went abroad. C1 bought his second car.
==*==
At the same time as A approached C1, B approached consultant-2 (C2.) B tells all about the hole.
C2 listens to everything and still keeps asking a lot more about B, B's house, neighborhood, the trees around (notes that there is a coconut tree in his very house compound,) the movies he sees, how frequently Mr and Mrs B fight (notes details about the pitches of their voices also), whether his children play indoor games or outdoor games, whether monkeys visit the neighborhood...
B loses his patience but not his trust on C2.
After two weeks of such interviews..
B: So, what about my problem?
C2: Coming to that..
C2: Before the rainy season, get a small net built over the place where you saw the hole on your roof. It should be strong enough to withstand coconuts falling on it, monkeys jumping on it, and cricket balls hitting it. If you need help (in getting it built, you can call me when ready.) Put a waterproof tarpaulin over the net, so that water doesn't leak.
C2: Apart from this.. reduce the frequency of your quarrels (if you should quarrel, don't shout.) Otherwise, more holes may appear and you may have to extend the net and the tarpaulins.. Request your neighbors to reduce the volume of their rock music. Whenever you want to avoid quarrel with your wife, pop these pills into her mouth. You can also pop 3 of them into your own mouth. If your kids demand, into their mouths also. Nothing else for 30 minutes after popping, by the way!
B's life turned sweet and he lived happily after that. He started advising others, solutions for small problems. For bigger problems, he referred them to C2.
==*==
C visited Consultant-3 (C3) at the same time as A visited C1 and B visited C2.
C's initial experience was almost same as the first two weeks of B (interviews and interviews) but, extended almost up to the beginning of rainy season!
As rain clouds started hovering low, C went frantically to C3.
C3: Welcome.
C: My hole, my house..
C3: You came at the right time! I was to call you anyway.
C3: See, I have made these special gels for you. Go to Kerala, see the first monsoon rain. Buy some spices, collect some leaves. Then immediately come to your place. Stay up the whole night. Early morning there will be rain. One hour before the rain and two hours before sunrise, apply these gels to your roof, around the hole, one from inside the house and the other, from outside. (You see, one hardens with air and the other, with water.) Ensure some water flows over the roof after you apply the gel.
C: Will that solve my problem?
C3: Not completely.
C: ??
C3 then counsels on similar lines as C2 did for B, including and up to avoiding quarrels. However, for avoiding quarrels he gave a different 'solution' *after* few more months. (He was sure that the rainy season "naturally" would have brought Mr and Mrs C closer.. it seems they even went to watch a couple of water-falls in spate.)
After rainy season.
C: Great season, it was!!
C3: Yes! Do you want to continue the same situation at home?
C: Yes, I don't want any more leaks in my roof.
C3: Yes, of course.. and what about you and your wife quarreling?
C: No, sir.. I want to avoid that also.
C3: Good.
C3: Go to so-and-so village. Buy some bamboos and palm/coconut leaves there. Ask the villager to come to your home and prepare a good roof over the terrace. You know, thatched roof means shade and coolness in summer. Protection from coconuts. It is also bio-degradable. Birds build nests in it and their chirping wakes you up early in the morning. (You may have to regularly clean their droppings, of course.) After one year, you can use the thatches for boiling water. It may get damaged in rains.. this villager comes again next year and weaves a new roof.
C: Will he advise me how to be friends with my wife?
C3: No. You fight because of imbalance in your air, fire and water elements. Do pranayam every day. Relish chyavanaprash, honey, cinnamon.. Brush with neem twigs. Fast every fortnight. Visit Tirupati. Learn Sanskrit. Read Ramayanam. Study the Geeta....
C lived happily every after.
==*==
Well, do I have to tell it?
A, B and C are people like us.
C1 - allopathic super specialist.
C2 - homoepathy doctor.
C3 - Ayurvedic and wholistic doctor.
